“When life’s perils thick confound you, put [God’s] arms unfailing round you…God be with you till we meet again.”
Today, I had the opportunity to run into a group of kids that I knew weren’t going to be the nicest to me. I knew that they probably would be the type of people who would get on my nerves. But who knows? Maybe they would be extremely nice? I had gone to the vending machines to see if they had any of the spicy Cheetos that I could eat. They were standing in a group, blocking my view to the vending machine. I stepped a little bit into their circle to get a view of what what was in the machine. The Cheetos weren’t there, but there may be something else. I looked for a bit more and decided I should got back and wait for my dad. As I turned to go away, one of the boys accused me of being siblings with my younger brother A.J. Not being very proud to be my A.J.’s sister, I replied saying that I didn’t know who he was talking about. He then told me he knew I went to the Junior High School. I have always been small and seen as younger than I really am. I was slightly offended. They were younger than me and they were acting like they knew me better than I did. I shot back “I’m seventeen!” I then continued to walk off. As I did, the girls in their group began to call me a bitch, a term that didn’t seem appropriate because I am not a dog. I am female, but I am definitely not a dog.
It hurt that they felt the need to say that to me. I walked away to sit down. On their way to walk out the building one of the girls came up to me “You’re not seventeen, so don’t act like you are.” Now I was really offended. “I am!” I yelled back. “I can prove it too. Do you want to see my license?” The girl seemed intrigued at this point. “Yes, I would.” She said. I pulled it out and showed it to her. I can’t say she is the brightest because she claimed my license was a fake because it said my birth year was 2018. No, that is the expiration date you idiot! I thought. They were all circled around me at this point. The boys were still saying I was my A.J.’s sister and were continuing to call me vulgar names. They started calling me a slut and other such things. I don’t know what I did to prove to them that I was any of those things. I took what they had said to me, much more seriously than I should have.
I have been having trouble accepting myself with how I have changed this past year. I know there are things I need to forgive and forget and other things that I just need to accept. It’s hard. I’m not who I thought I was going to be. When I was younger, I always thought I was going to be the girl with unlimited amounts of boys asking me out and that I would be the nicest funniest person you would meet. I guess I was wrong. I’m brutally honest, I often speak my mind when I shouldn’t. I’m am really sarcastic and extremely emotional. I’m also sorry to say that there are no boys making a line outside my front door. Although I am not the whole person who I wanted to be, I am still true to myself. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and that Jesus Christ lives. I live by the standards that my parents and I have set for myself. I have kept my GPA to a 4.0 and I will always be honest, no matter how much it hurts.
I’m not perfect. I know I’m not and I know that everyone else isn’t perfect either. I can’t blame people for not being who I think they should be, just how I can’t blame myself. There will always be people who annoy me, but that’s okay. It’s so true, how you make others feel about themselves says a lot about you and how you feel about yourself. I don’t know who those kids are but I am sure they have a lot more going on than I do. Their worries may be so extreme to the point that they had to push how they have felt, onto me.